Talk about inflated egos!
There’s an old story (probably an urban legend, but a popular speech
illustration) about a Navy warship that one night detected what it thought was
another ship’s lights right in its intended course through a dangerous bay
entrance. The warship radioed the other ship, “Adjust your course. I am a large
warship.” The other alleged ship responded, “You adjust. I’m a lighthouse.”
The point of the illustration
is that an inflated sense of importance can be a dangerous thing. If we don’t
change to adapt to reality, we’re apt to crash.
The problem in life is that
we live among folks who think they are warships and that everything revolves
around them. They are the center of
their own universe, a problem psychologists call “narcissism.” It’s seen in
people who overestimate their talents or importance, feel “entitled” or “special,”
and are selfish and exploitative.
I’ve been around such people,
and I can hardly wait to get out of their “boasting zone.” They remind me of
myself as teenager whose self-esteem was wrapped up in playing the violin in
the high school orchestra. I never had private lessons so was a mediocre
player, but did I ever covet the role of “Concertmistress” (first chair), which
I finally achieved as a senior. Going to college and getting “seated” back in
the second violin section adjusted my ego downward! Along with that came
learning that every player did his or
her best for the benefit of the whole orchestra, regardless of where they were
ability-positioned.
'BIGGER THAN....'
That truth was expressed in
psychological terms in Dr. Henry Cloud’s bestselling book Integrity (Harper, 2006). He wrote that emotional healthiness means
changing course from self-centeredness to the quality of transcendence. A person with this attribute has gone beyond
thinking that life revolves around him or her, and sees that life is about
things and causes bigger than them.
“The greatest people,” he
wrote, “are the ones who have not sought greatness, but served greatly the
cause, values and missions that were much bigger than them. And by joining and
serving those, we see greatness emerge” (p. 243).
Not surprisingly, we have
that same advice in the Bible, namely Paul’s letter to Roman Christians:
For by the grace given me I say to every one of you:
Do not think more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with
sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you.”
(Romans 12:3)
He goes on to describe the
various skills (or gifts) within the Christian fellowship, from preaching to
showing mercy. They all fit together
like one grand puzzle, no one piece more important than the other. When inflated egos submit to God, it’s the
spiritually altered egos that best
serve Him.
They’ll never mistake a
lighthouse for another ship.
For various reasons they land at our local animal shelter.
Some came from litters, some found as strays. Some were given up, perhaps
because an owner died or could no longer care for a pet. And some were abused or even, well, bad. Every
week our small-town newspaper features “Adopt a Pet” ads where shelter cats’
and dogs’ positive qualities are extolled. But just to keep truth in
advertising, the write-ups include cautions.
*Some have Cage Trauma, like these cats: “Shelter life is
hard for this gentle feline.” “This kitty has been frightened of shelter life
but is gradually finding it’s not all that bad.”
*Some have lots of energy that needs directed: “This dog is
very intelligent and will need games to stimulate his mind.” “She’s a show dog or rather a showoff dog who
loves to entertain you and your friends.”
*Some were abused:
“This dog is crazy in love with humans and it’s a wonder since he hasn’t
been treated well in the past. He is looking forward to a nice big doggie bed
and someone to love.”
ABOUT THOSE CHARACTER GAPS....
Reading these made me think of those “love connection”
websites where the whole truth about character isn’t always revealed. Some have
done okay with such sites; others have stepped into minefields. That’s because
“compatibility” is more than shared interests and hobbies. It also involves integrity
and personal growth issues, as described in best-selling Christian author-psychologist
Dr. Henry Cloud’s leadership book, Integrity
(Harper, 2006).
Cloud observed that some people have gaps in showing good
character “because they are unwilling to make the shifts that character
demands. They kind of ‘flip off’ reality, the light, wisdom, or whatever
influence comes into their lives. They
have a stance that is past resistance and is defiant. For them, we can try to motivate, but
ultimately, they have to make a choice.” Some people blame their past or genes
for bad character. But Cloud challenges those excuses, saying each person can
make decisions to change the negative parts of who they are.
If only people were as easy to retrain as pets. If only a comfortable bed and appetizing
kibbles made a difference. Changing the
negative parts of a personality and world outlook is hard work. As for those who’ve
tried to help people who struggle with life and relationships, Cloud adds: “If
you are trying so help someone, and he is not responding after many attempts by
you to help, he may just be resistant. You might do better to spend your time
with someone who really wants to change" (p. 278).
Does that remind you of some of the sick people Jesus
encountered? Like the disabled man who hung out by a Jerusalem water reservoir
begging for alms, unaware that the Healer—the One able to bring spiritual and
physical wholeness--stood in front of him (John 5:13)?
There are no guarantees that those animals offered for
adoption will work out in their new home. Animals can be resilient but also
stubborn. So, too, a human—except for
the amazing grace of Christ who’s in the business of transformation, building
the character that honors Him.
