Spoon squabble

"How come Zion has two spoons?”  my four-year-old grandson Josiah complained one recent lunch

about his  2 1/2-year-old brother’s “place setting.” When they eat at Nana’s house, they have “assigned” child sets. Josiah’s is a sectioned toddler plate that looks like a barn and has “fat-handle,” child-friendly knife/fork/spoon. Zion is using a family “heirloom” set from his dad’s babyhood,  a “Peter Rabbit” plate with Peter Rabbit child-size spoon and fork. Plus—and this is where the problem came in—I got him a toddler bent-handle spoon.  Still ambidextrous, he finds eating applesauce a challenge with either hand.  The bent spoon helps.  Thus, “spoon number 2.” 

The so-called “inequity” in place settings had never been brought up—until that day.

Deciding to solve the problem himself, Josiah took Zion’s Peter Rabbit spoon and put it by his plate. I reprimanded him and put it back by Zion’s plate. Josiah grabbed it again.  We had war on our hands.
Just then—I am telling the truth—I recalled another “sibling rivalry” that merited a discussion in the New Testament. 

The setting was the Sea of Galilee, after Jesus’ resurrection. Any appearance after His death and resurrection was awesome anyway, and this morning Jesus showed up on shore and performed a miracle for the up-until-then empty-netted fisherman, Peter and John among them. By the time they dragged the bulging net to shore, Jesus had built a fire to cook some for breakfast.  (I like this detail. Jesus knew practical skills like starting a fire without matches!)

After breakfast, Jesus had a penetrating conversation with Peter about how much Peter loved Him. After all, before Jesus’ crucifixion, Peter denied Him three times. Then Jesus predicted Peter’s death scenario: “When you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go” (John 21:18). He wasn’t suggesting Peter would fade away in a nursing home, but that he’d have a difficult, helpless death that would glorify God.  Tradition says that Peter died of crucifixion, upside-down, the opposite of Christ’s death.

After that stunning revelation, Peter pointed at John. “Lord, what about him?”  In other words, if I have to die in misery, shouldn’t John, too? Jesus replied, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you?  You must follow me”(21:22).

Historians say John died in extreme old age on a prison island.  But the lesson of this passage isn’t who-dies-how, but that living according to Jesus’ plan has no place for entitlement.  We can’t demand that Jesus give us a certain life that’s full of the things we want.  Health, education, employment, nice housing, a nice car, marriage, family, or even public recognition are not “givens” of the Christian life. Demanding them from God is the sin of coveting. We’re simply to trust and obey. Do our best with what God has given us. 

The rest of the spoon story? We’re back to “normal.” And Zion still makes a mess of eating applesauce, even with the bent spoon.  Someday….

Choosing new paths

 

Midway through the trail system at our local riverfront, we face a decision: straight, through the swamplands, or right, through a portion that's gated and closed for part of the year to protect the vulnerable ecosystems. A few hundred feet later, the trails come back together. But in real life, choosing a different path of behavior and choices can carry us far away, either to our good or bad. The “bad” is sadly lived out in millions of families.  But I was encouraged by the example told by Rick Johnson in his book, The Marriage of Your Dreams (Baker, 2012), which I received as a review copy.  Before donating it to my church library, I copied two pages that impacted me.

Johnson grew up in a troubled home in which his mother and stepfather had drunken arguments. He felt rejected and demeaned by his stepfather, resulting in trying to “overachieve to subconsciously prove to him that I was worthy.” He didn’t want to pass on to his own family the same broken legacy. Yet he struggled over the Bible’s command to honor his mother and stepfather, who were so broken.  Johnson concluded:

Perhaps the best way to honor our parents under those circumstances is to live a life that would honor them.  For example, through education, hard work, and the grace of God I was able to break the generational cycles of abuse, addiction, and divorce that were modeled for me.  I have tried to live a life that would cause anyone looking on to say to my parents, ‘You must be so honored that your son is choosing to live a life that is dedicated to helping others.’ At that point I don’t think it matters whether your parents recognize or appreciate the fact that you’re living an honorable life. I believe that fulfills God’s command to honor your mother and father. (pp. 44-45)

The sad truth is that broken family members may not recognize that our “different” lives are a result of following the better path charted by God’s redemptive Hand. God calls us to a singular purpose in Him. I’m reminded of the conversation between Jesus and Peter after the resurrection.  Peter had just heard some disheartening news, that in “feeding” Jesus’ sheep there would be hard times, even places he didn’t want to go, implying a martyr’s death.  Peter turned and saw John, described as the “disciple whom Jesus loved” (although He loved all of them).  Somewhat perturbed that John would miss out on the tough stuff, Peter said, “Lord, what about him?”  Jesus answered, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you?  You must follow me” (John 21:22).

What this is saying is that we don’t “design” our journey of discipleship. We allow God to determine the hard spots, the growth places, and even the sacrifices ahead because He knows what is best.  And in choosing the path of righteousness, we follow Him, no turning back. Godly choices will honor even ungodly parents, but most of all they will honor God.