SPLAT!

My garage door recently sported some modern art before I used a wet rag to wipe it off. Either a feathered friend mistook the door's blue paint for sky or just wasn't paying attention to its route. I didn't find a dead bird nearby, so I hope he only suffered a slightly bruised chest and got on with life in the sky. I was fairly certain the bird wouldn't look for a wet rag to clean it up—so I did.

The unwelcome mess reminded me of other “splats” I'd experienced—the “splats” of mean and hurtful words. I'm not the type to go around yelling and insulting people in person or in written or virtual form. Yet for some reason, another's untrue and unsought mean words found their target with me. When I reacted, they retorted with excuses like, “I'm sorry you feel that way,” “You're too sensitive,” or “I didn't mean it like that.” Such replies attempted to bounce blame back onto me rather than acknowledging their own negative behavior causing the problem.

Weary of “splats,” I finally wrote this person a letter (which others read beforehand to assure its “kindness” tone), expressing how their anger and false accusations wounded me. After my backing away from that relationship, the "splats" decreased. 

Abandoning relationships isn't my to-go behavior. I thought of how patient Jesus was with people with problems. But when people in Jesus' life (like the Pharisees) persisted in their negatives, He drew a holy line. In my case, after prayer and seeking scripture's wisdom, I sensed the Lord permitting me to let go. His command to “love one another” didn't mandate being a continual negative target. Instead, putting down relationship “boundaries” might awaken reality in a person who habitually vented their unhappiness on others. Or who tossed out a “sorry” reply without the backup of personal reflection or accountability to change.

These times of computers and smart phones, we often hear the saying, “There's an 'ap' for that,” meaning you can download virtual instructions to achieve a task. I find “aps” for quitting “splats” throughout scripture, especially in Proverbs, which speaks so honestly to human behaviors:

Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. (Proverbs 16:24)

Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper [my translation: doesn't go 'splat'] than one who takes a city. (Proverbs 16:32)

A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered. (Proverbs 17:27)

Anti-splat instructions aren't limited to Proverbs. They're illustrated throughout scripture's stories and counsel, with healing words given a five-star rating:

Do not let any unwholesome [the Greek term is “saphros,” meaning “putrid”] talk come out of your mouth, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen (Ephesians 4:29)

The same passage gets painfully specific about a Christ-follower getting rid of “bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice” (v. 31).

Splat! Think of the, well, “body waste” a bird gifted my garage door. The cure is a cleansing cloth dipped in kindness, compassion, and forgiveness—remembering our own Cross-purchased gift of forgiveness from the Lord Jesus Christ (v. 32).