Hard/Not-hard to shop for

It’s that time of year when this phrase gets slipped into conversations: “What would you like for Christmas?”  Here’s the reply they don’t want: “Nothing. Give to something worthy.”   Amidst all the hoopla of “Black Friday” and super-sales, maybe we need to actually listen to those requests.

I found a kindred spirit recently when re-reading one of my “keeper” books, Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow (NavPress, 1998). In one chapter she deals with financial anxiety and the tendency to want more and more, like the greedy leech of Proverbs 30:15, who never has “enough.” In applying this to the pressures of holiday giving, Dillow described two friends who decided to proactively emphasize the “giving” that was important to them. Two months before Christmas, they wrote their adult children a letter, asking that their Christmas present to parents be a gift for someone less fortunate than they are. Period. They asked that the “gift” also appear as a little note on the Christmas tree, telling what the giver had done, in Jesus’ name.

The couple described their joy over opening the notes at Christmas.  A son began sponsoring an overseas orphan. Another washed floors and cleaned a rescue mission. Still another helped homeless people.

Of course, giving to the needy or worthy causes is no new idea.  Our mailboxes are full of appeals at Christmastime, often from groups we know little of. But there are others with a visible and respected presence that reach out to prisoners’ children, the known needy of the community, and other established overseas outreaches.  When our children were young, we filled those well-publicized shoeboxes with kid hygiene items and toys, wondering who would get them.  I hoped it balanced out that “it’s all about me” mentality that slips into the holidays.

Dillow’s concluding remark adds a punch to these suggestions: “Brainstorm with friends about how you can say ’Enough!’ to overspending for gifts.  Everyone’s home needs a house cleaning to keep the greedy leech away” (p. 93). It’s not about “Presents!” with a capital P and exclamation mark.  It’s about the presence of the holy God among us.

Gentle reminders

They’re called “lamb’s ears,” or technically stachys byzantina, and the low-growing, compact velvety plants are a popular edging. I can’t resist leaning over and touching the soft, pointed leaves, for they remind me of a spiritual trait I want to grow more in my life.  It’s gentleness, the demeanor expressed by what we do and say. Appropriately, “lamb’s ears” look like tongues as well as ears.

“Let your gentleness (“moderation,” KJV) be known to all,” Paul wrote the Philippians (4:5, NIV). In the original Greek, the word implied something gentle, patient, and forbearing. More telling, Paul wrote verse 5 after asking two Christian women with a rift to “agree with each other in the Lord.” We’re not given details of their rift, but it probably involved some hurtful words to each other or behind the other’s back. Instead of being like lamb’s ears, they were cacti.

Been there, done that? A chapter of Proverbs has especially admonished me about “gentle words.” It begins, “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger”  (Proverbs 15:1). In other verses, this chapter counsels:

*Speak truth wisely. “The tongue of the wise commends knowledge,” verse 2 says, “but the mouth of the fool gushes folly.” We’re not to back off from expressing truth, but guard how we express it. Those taken in by “folly” or strange ideas are usually very defensive of them. The best response may be, “I’m sorry, but I cannot come over to your beliefs. Let’s agree to disagree but not let that end our friendship.” When you’re not an easy “convert” to their position, they may back away, but the gentle reply will hopefully leave open the door to their hearts. And then, “The lips of the wise spread knowledge” (Proverbs 15:7).

*Speak to heal. “The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life” (v. 4). Remember the “lamb’s ears” are shaped like an ear. At times we need to engage ears before engaging tongue. James counseled: “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” (1:19). One person I pray for is like a closed-up box. Careless words can result in that box being shut tighter. Even though it’s arduous to draw out this person in conversation, that’s what God would have me do. I need this person’s trust before offering words of counsel.

*Speak to diffuse anger. “A hot-tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms a quarrel” (v. 18). “Blessed are the peacemakers,” Jesus said (Matthew 5:9). I say, double-blessed, because in that role they often get in the crossfire of verbal barbs and anger.

*Speak to build up: “A man finds joy in giving an apt reply—and how good is a timely word!” (v. 23). Such words are: “Go for it—I believe in you,” “I knew you could do it,” and “I’m proud of you.”

*Know when you need to listen: “He who listens to a life-giving rebuke will be at home among the wise” (v. 31). Several years ago, a godly woman I respected took me aside and gently told me that someone had felt snubbed because I didn’t greet her in the church foyer. I could have passed off it off as a mistaken reaction, but my friend helped me discern this person’s bigger needs of connection. Instead of reacting like a cactus (poke, poke, poke!) to what seemed trivial, I allowed my friend’s remarks to help me see this needy person through God’s eyes.

 

For several years I’ve thought about getting some “starts” of “lamb’s ears” for my yard. I have a place picked out: near the front door, where they’ll regularly remind me to seek to practice gentleness.        

Waiting for the Glory

They were greenhouse bargains, and past their prime. When my husband brought home three sickly chrysanthemum plants late last fall, I doubted anything would come of them. Re-planting them in a barrel by our door, I was surprised they were still alive by spring. But all summer, all I saw was a growing mound of leaves. A friend counseled, “Give them time.” A few weeks ago, they burst into glorious color.

Give it time. That counsel also applies as I pray for people who aren’t living for Christ. Some are pre-Christians. Others claim to be Christians, but their behavior negates the label. They’re living for pleasures now, not for God. In learning to pray for them, I’ve taken comfort and clues from the six prayers of the apostle Paul recorded in scripture. His prayer in 2 Thessalonians especially seemed to articulate the concerns I have for my struggling friends.

Paul was writing believers who had fallen into despair, thinking the world would end soon. Many were living in idleness, not even working. Paul wanted them stirred out of lethargy with a fresh vision of what God wanted them to do. Christ still hasn’t come, but He could, any day. I want to be ready, and I want those I care about to be ready, too! In studying Paul’s prayer, I realized it could be broken into seven parts for praying through the week.

SUNDAY:  “We constantly pray for you”--Pray for their constant awareness of God’s care, that He loves them more than they can know and that He hears others’ prayers on their behalf.

            MONDAY: “That our God may count you worthy of his calling”--Pray for a fresh vision of God’s high calling on their lives.

            TUESDAY: “And that by his power he may fulfill every good purpose of yours”—Pray that they may sense a compulsion toward godly living, empowered by the Holy Spirit.

            WEDNESDAY: “And every act prompted by your faith.” Intercede that their creed for life be based on the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ.

            THURSDAY: “So that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you”—Pray that they will copy the example of Jesus, so others will be shown the glory of God through their character.

            FRIDAY: “And you in him”--Ask for conviction of places in their lives (like habits or fears) that they have resisted turning over fully to Christ.

            SATURDAY: “According to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ”—Pray for fresh confidence that God is at work in their difficult circumstances and supplying grace for each day.

Consider either tucking this prayer outline into your Bible or copying it into a prayer notebook for a guide in praying for others. And if you’re the one going through difficult times, speak this passage back to God as your own prayer. Even doing so is, as verse 11 says, “an act prompted by your faith,” and God hears.

 

Keep blooming

Fall had kissed fading chill into public gardens I visited in my daughter’s town. As I wandered the park’s rose section, I thought about an old song with a sad melody, “The Last Rose of Summer.” I’d heard its schmaltzy tune played on a violin long ago, but never knew all the words until I found them on the internet. Oh, my! Talk about a downer song! We can credit Irish poet Thomas Moore for the 200-year-old lyrics:
‘Tis the last rose of summer,/Left blooming alone;
All her lovely companions/Are faded and gone.
As the poem continues, the analogy is clear.  One by one we die until none of our friends is left. It concludes, “Oh! Who would inhabit/This bleak world alone.” Sigh. We can’t deny the inevitability of death (unless the Lord returns in our lifetimes!). But my Bible offers some great encouragement for those “last rose of summer” years.

*God will carry us in our old-age frustrations.

“Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you.  I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you” (Isaiah 46:4). The verse contrasts idols (who couldn’t lift a thing) and the true God who made us and spiritually carries, sustains and rescues us. Even in life’s autumn and winter, He is there.  

 *Character never stops growing.

The apostle Paul (himself in those “last rose” years) outlined a proactive approach for seniors in his letter to friend and helper Titus, who pastored the church at Crete. Paul didn’t want the church to waste its resource of older believers. Even if slowed by health, the “seniors” had a valuable role of “blooming” spiritually.  Thus the instructions in Titus 2 to teach older men to “be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, love and in endurance.” Older women were to be taught “to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good.” They were also to be role models to younger wives and mothers. When I was in my twenties, my best friend was fifty years my senior. Her modeling of sturdy faith and patient mentoring positively marked my life.

*Dreary “organ recitals” don’t glorify God.
Our bodies do a great job of reminding us that we’re mortal. This morning, for example, I got close and personal with a heating pad on an arthritic hip. I'll spare you more J…. I try to resist being someone who seeks sympathy via broadcasting aches and pains (“organ recitals”). It’s popular to grouse that “after 50 it’s patch-patch-patch,” and top another’s complaints. A friend of mine has the right attitude. Though left nearly helpless and in constant pain from polio half a century ago, when asked how he is, he keeps his “organ recital” to “I’m not complaining, just explaining.” Every time I’m around him, I am reminded of Nehemiah 8:10: “The joy of the Lord is your strength.”

*Keep enrolled in God’s School of Faith. “Remain in me, and I will remain in you,” Jesus said.  “No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine.  Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me” (John 15:4). We’ll inevitably have ups and downs in our spiritual lives as God permits trials and challenges to strengthen our faith. I’m reminded of that every time I read my Bible and re-encounter passages that speak to me now in fresh ways. Unlike the “last rose” of Moore’s poem, which was left to “pine on the stem,” maturity grips the stem all the tighter. Connected to Jesus, we're to bloom for all we’re worth, as long as we can.

Wimpy end-of-season roses? Let’s change the image to that of Isaiah:

They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor. (Isaiah 61:4)