Humblin' history made here

It happened here—a hall corner between my daughter’s and son’s bedrooms--where I tried to “train up” my children in the way they should go regarding relationships. Proverbs 22:15 says, “Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him.” I didn’t get out a “discipline rod” to resolve petty arguments, but I did use “time out” in their bedrooms before coming to this spot in the hall to apologize and ask forgiveness.  At times their hugs and “sorry’s” were quite wooden, but I trusted that this discipline would reinforce truths about living God’s way. They grew up to be responsible adults with many friends.

As I thought recently about “apologies,” three powerful Bible examples came to mind.
Insincere apologies—“Sorry you had a problem about it....” As King Saul geared up for a major battle at Gilgal, he had a problem. The prophet Samuel told him to wait a week for Samuel to come and offer the proper pre-battle sacrifices. When Day 7 arrived with no Samuel in sight,  Saul panicked and performed the sacred “sacrifice” of animals himself. An appalled Samuel showed up just as Saul finished. Saul’s excuse was full of “I” words, ending, “I felt compelled to offer the burnt offering” (1 Samuel 13:12). Samuel scolded him: “You acted foolishly.”  From then on, Saul’s days as king were numbered. 

Cover-up apologies—“Sorry I messed up, but don’t make me look bad.” A few chapters later, the prophet Samuel told Saul to completely destroy the Amalekites: people, cattle, sheep, camels and donkeys. But Saul and soldiers disobeyed, keeping some of the animal “booty.” Plus, Saul put up a prideful monument in his own honor! When Samuel came and heard all the noises of the Amalekite livestock, he condemned Saul for not following the orders for annihilation. Samuel declared:

To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams. For rebellion is like the sin of divination, and arrogance like the evil of idolatry. (1 Samuel 15:22b-23a)
Saul’s reaction: “I have sinned.  But please honor me before the elders of my people and before Israel” (v. 30).  (Read that again! The nerve of it floors me!) 

Sincere apologies—“I have sinned against the Lord” (2 Samuel 12:13). King David succumbed to lust, committing adultery with a married woman. Learning he got her pregnant, he arranged to have her husband killed in the heat of battle. He tried to hide his secret until the prophet Nathan pulled a confession out of him. The best mirror for David’s confession of this incident is his Psalm 51:

“Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight” (Psalm 51:4)

I see these applications for today:

Insincere apologies—The pouty “s-o-r-r-y” which tries to appease an offended person.

Cover-up apologies—The insincere “s-o-r-r-y” that says, “Sorry, you don’t agree with me, but I had to do it.  It’s all about me, after all.”

Sincere apologies—The humble “I am so sorry” that expresses: “God has convicted me of my sin in (description of offense). I was wrong and know I have sinned against you. Could you find it in your heart to forgive me and give me a second chance?  I want to obey God in every way, and this struggle is part of my journey to a life of pleasing God.” 

True, life-changing “I’m sorry” goes along with growing in Christ.  It’s the real thing because the Real Thing is just ahead. Someday, instead of standing in the hall between siblings’ bedrooms, we’ll kneel before the throne of Almighty God. He has seen every single action of our lives, and judges rightly and righteously—even considering how we have said, “I’m sorry.”

Golden truths

A series inspired by a visit to Kauai
The hotel where we stayed in Kauai had “Koi feeding” as one of its in-house activities. Dozens of the colorful tropical fish filled a pool adjacent to the restaurant.  When the waiter assigned to “feeding duties” came with his telltale can of koi food, the pool turned nearly solid orange with thrashing fish. Their feeding frenzy reminded me of my childhood, when I biked to a nearby salmon hatchery with friends. In those days before security fences and safety precautions, we kids could walk alongside the long concrete pools of juvenile salmon. They churned the water to froth as they spotted us, thinking we were the “keepers” who tossed them food.

Yes, koi are pretty, their scales an attractive mosaic of white, orange, yellow, and black. Most of these fish were a foot in length. I asked the keeper their value.  He smiled and said, “Expensive.”  An on-line search showed koi costing up to $225 each. One source said they can live a century.  Unless, of course, something looking for a fish dinner shows up.

Sometimes my mind goes in strange directions, and as I watched the hungry, showy koi, I remembered a song from the 1957 Broadway show, “West Side Story.”  In one scene, Maria is in high spirits because a boy has paid attention to her.  She dances and sings, “I feel pretty and witty and bright!” Our culture easily connects beauty (like koi?) with desirability. But the Bible warns against linking the two.  A case in point comes from the book of First Samuel.  Big, muscular, handsome-hunk Saul was serving as Israel’s first king. Before being anointed king, he was described as “an impressive young man without equal among the Israelites—a head taller than any of the others” (1 Samuel 9:3). But a few years into his reign, his character flaws emerged. Then came his biggest mistake: saving some booty from the raid on the Amalekites, even though he was told to destroy everything.

Off Samuel went on a secret mission to anoint a king-in-waiting. God led him to Jesse of Bethlehem, father of many big, handsome sons. But the one God chose was a little guy out in the pasture with the sheep. God saw in David the character He wanted:

The Lord does not look at the things man looks at.  Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. (1 Samuel 16:7)

God’s like that. He chooses unlikely candidates and grooms them for His great assignments. They may wrestle with their human frailties in health or personality. But God isn’t limited by those. Paul wanted to be freed of a debilitating “thorn in the flesh”—whatever it was. But God designed for him to live with it, in the power of Christ, encouraging him with the words that still apply to us:

My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. (2 Corinthians 12:5)

Ministry isn’t about being colorful, big and aggressive (like those pricey koi in the hotel ponds). It’s about the golden promise that as we yield our dullness and weakness to Christ, He can transform us to love and serve Him well.