TONGUE-TRIED

My little grandsons have lots of fun with these teeth! But what

an appropriate illustration of an out-of-control mouth.

When the genes that became “me” were assigned, I ended up with a small mouth. I know that’s frustrating when I go in for dental care because I’m constantly asked, “Open wider, please.” Usually I try to make light of it by saying I’m sorry I don’t have the oral width of comedian Carol Burnett—and yes, I strain to “open wider.” It’s just part of how I was “knit together” after conception.

Sadly, my “open wider” dental requests sometimes remind me of a time years ago when somebody mocked that part of my body. I was living for a few months with two other single women. I was thankful to be able to rent their extra bedroom, but we just never got close.  They did come one time to my church, where I sang in the choir. Later, emptying the garbage, I came across a church bulletin from that visit. On it, one of them had written, “She hardly opens her mouth to sing.” That stung. I simply have a small mouth, and with it I do my best to make a “joyful noise.”  I didn’t say anything to them about the note, but that mean criticism was hard to shake.

That wasn’t the only time when someone wounded me with harsh, unfair or untrue words. In some cases, it was someone with a mental illness, and I asked the Lord to help me put that perspective on it. I would pray for them—admittedly, half-heartedly, because they didn’t see themselves as mean. Then somebody brought my attention to Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount: “”Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me” (Matthew 5:11). If I am truly trying to follow Christ and represent Him to my world, it’s not about me, it’s about Him.

I gained another perspective from a devotional book I’ve been reading that collects writings from godly men and women leaders of the past. This devotion excerpted from the writings of Guigo I (1083-1136), who corresponded with Bernard of Clairvaux. Little is known about his life, but this counsel survived the centuries:

It is a good thing to pray for anyone who confesses and asks for forgiveness.  It is even better to pray for someone who does not yet feel guilty about anything. Ask God to help them notice their sin.  And pray also for those who know they are guilty but will not admit it.  Maybe they are ashamed. Maybe they are actually enjoying their guilt.  Ask God to help them.*

I lost touch with my “small mouth” roommates after that year of sharing a house. But I’m grateful for the reminders God sends me to watch my own mouth. Most important: that I keep a heart tender toward His will for my behavior. Reading proverbs on a regular basis helps with that, with verses like these:

Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. Put away perversity from your mouth; keep corrupt talk far from your lips. (Proverbs 4:23-24)

When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise. The tongue of the righteous is choice silver. (10:19)

The lips of the righteous nourish many, but fools die for lack of judgment (10:21)


*Bernard Bangley, compiler, Near to the Heart of God: Daily Readings from the Spiritual Classics (Wheaton: Shaw Publishers, 1998), entry for August 17.