THE COOKIE JAR FAN CLUB

 As the stereotyped Good Grandma, I have a cookie jar, poorly disguised as a basket of apples. It's the “first stop” when my three grandsons (9, 11, 13) come in the front door after school, dump their stuff (coats, school bags, empty lunch boxes) on the couch, then head for the Treat Corner. There they pause, silly grins on their faces that beg, “Please, please”--and hear my answer, “Just one.” Right away, three granola bars exit the jar and the boys are waiting at the table for their glasses of milk for snack time.

They're not shy about treats in Grandma's Kitchen. The oldest (entering his teen growth chapter) often also ends up in front of the kitchen sink, above which I store the package of ice cream cones. The kid who used to have to get a grandma “boost” up, now just reaches up and grabs the box, then goes to the freezer to pull out the carton of ice cream. He carefully inspects how tightly I mash in the ice cream, wanting the cone as full and tall as possible.

I'm glad they get excited about treats when they visit. Sometimes I tease them, “Who wants liver and onions?” Oh, Grandma, ugh, no! Oh, the stories I could tell them about my being forced to eat (gag) liver and onions. I was a wimpy child, the offspring of Depression-era folks who didn't have the Golden Arches for fast food. Instead, they butchered and ate as much of the cow or chicken as possible. That included iron-rich beef liver. Oh, it tasted awful. (I still have that prejudice!) But because I was a sickly child, my mom would do anything to build up my health. Her upbringing meant she believed strongly in the healthy benefits of (gag) liver. The only way I could choke it down was having each piece (about half an inch square) topped with a chocolate chip and washed down with copious amounts of milk.

I wish I could say that being forced in childhood to eat liver helped me achieve the title of Strongest Child of the Decade. Well, it wasn't true. And one thing I did NOT do when I became a mother was to try to convert my offspring to the nutritional delights of liver. I don't think my grandsons (who since toddler-hood knew that “Golden Arches” meant sack lunches with toys in them) have ever eaten liver. If they have, I'm sure they had the same reaction as their grandma in her childhood. Ugh.

Not so, God's Word. The prophet Jeremiah wrote, “Thy words were found, and I did eat them; and thy word was unto me the joy and rejoicing of mine heart; for I am called by thy name, O LORD God of hosts” (Jeremiah 15:16). And to think that this was Jeremiah's declaration long before the scriptures included the stories and teachings about and from Jesus. What Jesus taught was ultimately cause for joy and rejoicing for those called by HIS name: “Christian.”

Yes, my grand-boys crave the “sweets” of this planet (like those granola bars or, even better, those little black round cookies with cream filling). But my prayer as they mature (and learn more about Jesus at Sunday school and from their parents) is that they will crave knowing more and more about Jesus, the One who called Himself the Bread of Life, able to satisfy our deepest spiritual hunger.

SCREEN TEST

I've heard of “screen tests” for aspiring actors or actresses, to judge their dramatic abilities, but never a “screen test” for....a spider. Yet there it was, clutching the narrow wire of my front window screen, unable to squeeze inside. I found a stick to flick it off, and went on with my life.

But maybe there was lesson, here—and not just showing kindness to a tiny member of nature, who was at a dead end if it really wanted inside. Sometimes “we humans” find ourselves clinging to situations or attitudes we have no business being a part of. I'll let you fill in the blanks. Or just suggest the wisdom of the apostle Paul, writing to a church on the northeast coast of today's Greece. In laying out how a Christian should act, he admonished them, “Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus” (Philippians 2:5). The little word, “attitude,” takes in a lot of moral and linguistic territory, as used in Paul's letter to the Philippian church. In a section (chapter 2) packed with admonitions, he urged them to share godly encouragement, comfort, fellowship, tenderness, compassion, and like-mindedness. Doing so meant kicking “selfish ambition” and “vain conceit” out the door. Instead, Paul held up Christ as an example of humility, servanthood, and obedience. Yes, “screen tests” for believers.

I would have loved to be a bug in the ceiling of the room where these Philippians worshiped. Scholars believe this particular passage, listing Christian traits, was a hymn the early Christian church sang. Much of it echoes the prophecy in Isaiah 53 of the suffering servant, who would be Jesus Christ. Paul took it a step further, saying the character Jesus showed (a suffering servant, even to death) should be shown in His followers' lives. Yes, a “screen test,” if you will, sifting out sin to better nurture godly attitudes and behavior.

Half a century ago, I had the privilege of interviewing a then-well-known Christian entertainer, Pat Boone, who was a guest musician for our local spring festival promoting the area's fruit growing industries. I mean, this town went all out: teen queens and princesses, big parades with bands, horses, and floats, and a food fair. As an added attraction, it invited a celebrity as an honorary festival guest. This person would make several public appearances, plus ride the parade route in a fancy car, waving and smiling at fans.

That year, I was a fresh-out-of-college newspaper reporter. My editor wanted me to interview this celebrity pop singer also known for his Christian faith. (Okay, the guy known for wearing white buck shoes.)* The local radio station sent out their interviewer, a college intern. Our quickie interview, right before the celebrity's performance at our local football stadium, took place in this elegant location: the junior high girl's locker room in the gym adjacent to the stadium. (Real class!)

I was a bit star-struck and glad the radio intern had a ready question for the celebrity: “What's your favorite Bible verse?”  Without a second thought, the man quoted Philippians 2:12:

Work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.

Just that verse was the perfect “screen test” of that celebrity's character. No hesitation. And obviously, a moment of my journalism career that I have never forgotten.

  *Chronically Vintage: The history of white buck shoes

DON'T BE SO PERI-PATHETIC!

My high school English teachers encouraged correct spelling and vocabulary-building. That involved expanding the typical teen lingo from “yo!” and “hey” to multi-syllable words. Well, just kidding on that exaggeration. But if you want to increase your word (or weird?) power, just check out some common prefixes or suffixes. Or get a book like Rodale's Synonym Finder.

I was thinking about that lately in re-encountering the word peripatetic. Its meaning (“to discourse while pacing”) takes you back to Aristotle's era, when the local “great-deep-thinkers” would pace around while they exposited on their latest twist to philosophy. I experienced a few pastors like that, who used the whole platform to preach, gifted either with a huge, booming voice or that great invention of a wireless microphone that kept up with their pacing!

That weird word (peripatetic) also brought to mind those who meander through life. For whatever reason—physical, emotional, situational—they're pacing around life's stage without going anywhere, or stuck in pathetic habits. That is to say, adjusting the word with an “h”: peri-pathetic. **Disclaimer: I'm NOT pointing any fingers at anyone in particular; we all stand in need of the grace of God!**

This certainly wasn't true of the apostle Paul. Blind-sided (literally) by a life-changing vision from the risen and heaven-returned Jesus, he went out in full-force with a new agenda—to preach the Christ he once rejected. Instead of persecuting Christians, he left all that behind to take on the label “Christian” himself. This was what they call a 180-degree turn, as Paul's “before Christ” life had all the “perks” of Jewish leadership. He was properly circumcised, a card-carrying member of the tribe of Benjamin, thoroughly trained as a Pharisee.

But from the moment Christ took over his life, Paul had a new agenda: I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have lost all things. (Philippians 4:8). His conversion took away everything valued by the world (status, reputation, ambition) and replaced it with the righteousness and godly passion from God, through faith in Christ (Philippians 3:9).

Which is to say: he went from a “pathetic peripatetic” non-believing Pharisee to someone “perfected in Christ.” He went from choosing violence against Christians to victory in Jesus, able to say: “I can do everything through him who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13).

What a life-changing truth—for us, too! As a Christ-follower, I don't have to pathetically wander all over life's stage, getting nowhere (being “peri-pathetic”--my invented word), hoping something I did pleases God and includes a “ticket” to Heaven. My ticket's been issued, stamped with a cross-shaped symbol. Trip and entrance, confirmed!