WORN DOWN

A, S, M, N—on my computer's keyboard, those letters are “no more.” Years of typing have worn off the lettering, so I pressed on "substitutes" cut from adhesive labels. But that's okay. Other than to make sure my index fingers are on the “home keys” of F and J when I start typing, the process has become quite automatic.

I have a fun story about anchoring “typing fingers.” One year during college I lived on the same floor as a blind student. She had some shadowy vision, we understood, and could find her way around the campus. Yet we “floor-mates” sometimes took turns making sure she navigated okay. That was especially helpful at meal time when she needed to choose a la carte foods she couldn't see and then find her way to an empty chair. Our “assistance” was rewarded by her gracious presence. As for typing—yes, she typed on a regular typewriter. But if she got her anchor fingers on the wrong keys, the result was gobbledygook. She also had a Braille “typewriter” that punched out the raised letters she could read. For quick note-taking (without dragging the heavy Brailler around), she had a special punching slate. I ordered one and wrote her in my primitive Braille a few times after college years. I still have it along with my 3x5 how-to card (the symbols in reverse for punching).

My Braille "writer" and ABC guide

Where am I going with this? Maybe that we need to be sensitive to communication styles. A regular written or typed message was hard for our college floor-mate to read. But she responded well to verbal commands or a hand on the forearm--done with grace and care.

More recently I've watched situations where one or both persons in a relationship don't see “eye to eye” or are blinded to their own faults. The same-old complaints or demands upon someone are like worn-down computer keys. In anger, someone might just stab at an emotional “key”--and the result does not spell “love” or “grace.” Knowing someone's “communication style” helps a lot. Few people respond positively to being worn down by nagging or demands. More are amenable to “appreciation” and “us” messages like, “How can we work together to achieve this?” This is how we obey the Bible's command to strive for peace with one another (Romans 12:18).

I've had my little Braille stylus and punch for more than half a century. It's one of those odd things rattling around in my desk drawer. I guess I hang onto it because it reminds me of my blind friend's determination to persevere and succeed. (I heard that she became a physical therapist and later married.) As such, she inspired me—more than she may ever realize.

TRYING

The décor section at a local store always inspires me, 

as did this sign about relationships

We use the word “trying” in two very different ways:

“That person’s attitudes and actions are very trying for me”—as very difficult and unpleasant.

“I am trying to mend that relationship”—as in I am attempting, to the best of my ability, to better the situation.

Sometimes, we just can’t please everybody all of the time. Yet, trying to reach out to the trying (difficult) is what God calls us to do until He shows us we’ve done our best, and He will continue to work on a trying situation.

Still, the advice in this sign is noble and worth trying.

I’m reminded of advice in several parts of the Bible.

First, that because of the sinful nature, some people are simply trying (difficult) to be around: The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” (Jeremiah 17:9)

Next, God offers second chances when hard hearts are softened: If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened, but God has surely heard my voice in prayer. (Psalm 66:18)

God understands the difficulty of reconciliation when a hard heart is the other’s problem:

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.  Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath. (Romans 12:18)

Glance in a spiritual mirror to evaluate your own heart condition: If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.  If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:8-9)

A humble heart is a tried-and-true approach in difficult relationships. We live in an imperfect world. God knows that. If it were perfect, we wouldn’t need a Savior or the grace of God to get through the brambles of brokenness. Or signs like this one to remind us of a better way to live.