HUMBLE

It was a year when I was speaking at numerous women's retreats, and this one would be memorable. Not because my driving instructions were so vague that I started down a lonely road that only got worse—and with no place to turn around, I had to gingerly back up for hundreds of feet. Finally I got to the real retreat site (which was a right turn at a certain tree, and I had gone left), where dinner was being served. Coming into the busy, buzzing dining hall, I noticed one empty seat, and decided to sit there.

I introduced myself to the woman on my right, sitting quietly amidst the retreaters' chatter. She said her name was Dagmar, and her name and accent led to our next conversation thread about her roots in Germany. My paternal great grandparents had come from Germany. I guessed her to be mid to late sixties, Now a single woman, she was working as a maid for one of the large motels in a nearby Bavaria-themed tourist town. She had two adult children, a son in Washington and a daughter in California.

When the retreat ended, she said she wanted to keep in touch and pray for me. She also gave me a fabric heart she had made during the retreat's craft time. She asked that it remind me to please pray for her adult children. So we exchanged addresses. Once or twice a year she'd write or call me, reminding me of her prayers and asking what else to pray for. She later moved from our area, but sought me out when she passed through our town en route to see her son, who lived in a rural area about an hour's drive north. Later, no longer driving, she asked if I'd meet her at the town's bus station for a little visit when she had a layover between bus schedules. Her letters grew less frequent, then finally stopped. My last letter to her, about a year ago, was returned by the woman who had moved into her apartment. She had no idea where Dagmar moved to.

The end of April I saw Dagmar's name in the local newspaper's death notices. There would no service. Nothing said about burial. She was 88 (she would have been 89 on July 21). Though  perhaps not celebrated at death like most, she was surely known and cherished by the Lord whom she served through prayers and witness in her everyday life.

I was reminded of famous words woven into a web by the fictional Charlotte the spider in a 1952 children's book by E.B. White. Charlotte used every bit of her spider ability to reach out to a humble pig named Wilbur, She wove in her web above his pen these uplifting adjectives: “some pig,” “terrific,” “radiant,” and “humble.” The mystery words stunned his community, and saved him from becoming bacon.

“Some pig” didn't fit Dagmar, although the other words, plus “some special lady” would. Something else she said one time pierced my heart. She remarked that she was surprised when we first met how I sat by her and started a conversation. Her experience in other retreats was that “the speaker” hung out with the organizers. They didn't sit with “ordinary folks” like her. Ouch.

So, Dagmar, I celebrate you. The Lord smiled on your humble, praying life. See you at the table—God's table—in Glory.

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In thinking about godly women, I remembered a blog I wrote some years ago. You might enjoy reviewing its comparisons:

Jeanne Zornes: A Tale of Three Women

SOUND-BITES (Psalm 141)

Does this truck bed full of trash remind you of the destiny of trash-talk?

(Part of an ongoing series on the 48 psalms commended for study during times of "feeling down," from a list in counselor-pastor David Seamand's book, Healing for Damaged Emotions.)

One of the trendy phrases today is “sound-bytes,” which I understand to mean tiny bits of communication. Change one vowel and you get “sound-bites,” which could refer to what I’ve heard called the most destructive weapon of all. They’re related to a muscle just a few inches long found in our mouths.

Words that bite and hurt have been around a long, long time. Some of the best-known passages in the epistle of James refer to controlling one’s tongue. We’re to be “quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” (James 1:19). An unruly tongue is called a fire capable of great damage (3:5-6) and ironically able to both praise and curse (3:10). Not surprisingly, Proverbs says a lot about the destructive power of words, like this one: “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger" (Proverbs 15:1).

PURITY

Harsh words can also stir up deep hurt and division, something that David as a leader of warriors and then of a nation experienced often. Learning to speak wisely was part of his training to be king, and Psalm 141 suggests how he practiced that in his personal worship:

May my prayer be set before you like incense; may the lifting up of my hands be like the evening sacrifice. Set a guard over my mouth, O LORD, keep watch over the door of my lips. Let not my heart be drawn to what is evil....(vv. 3-4 a)

Probably he prayed with hands pointed to the skies, as symbolized with the upward wafting of smoke from the tabernacle’s incense burners. It’s important to remember that the incense used in worship was meticulously prepared to be as pure as possible. In coming to God with the day’s recall of words, he knew he was facing a Holy God. Even in his high position, David wanted a heart open to reproof and kindness, and one that guarded against sinning with words:

Let a righteous man strike me—it is a kindness; let him rebuke me—it is oil on my head.(v.5)

There’s a similar thought in Proverbs 15:31:

He who listens to a life-giving rebuke will be at home among the wise.

Plus, centuries later, the apostle Paul counseled:

Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently (Galatians 6:1).

There’s a big difference between a life-giving rebuke and a self-serving complaint or condemnation. Lately, I’ve become especially attuned to the warnings about this in scripture. I often read a chapter of Proverb that corresponds to the date of the month, and frequently run into verses like these:

Whoever corrects a mocker invites insult; whoever rebukes a wicked man incurs abuse. Do not rebuke a mocker or he will hate you; rebuke a wise man and he will love you. (Proverbs 9:7-8)

The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit (Proverbs 15:4)

A rebuke impresses a man of discernment more than a hundred lashes into a fool. (Proverbs 17:9)

ENDINGS

The psalm ends with a vignette of the wicked not receiving honorable burials, something important in Jewish culture. That seemed out of place until I realized that Psalm 141 is holding up God’s standards of purity and propriety in a world that’s riddled with snares and traps of polluted hearts and foul mouths. All of these contribute to “feeling down.” Instead of returning mean-spirited “sound-bites,” we’re to look at how Jesus, handled such things.

Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. (Hebrews 12:3) 

Trash talk

Oh, my, I thought as I listened to students in the busy halls of our town’s local high school. The air was blue—or should I say black?—with crude slang and irreverent uses of God’s name.  I felt sad for Christian teens, who had to live with that every day. I have the same sad-and-angry reaction in various public places when I heard language that disrespected or demeaned people or my Lord.  And then the pointing finger turned around.  Had I ever sinned with my mouth? Had I  verbalized thoughts fit only for the trash?

I appreciated how Priscilla Shirer dealt with that problem in her book The Resolution for Women (B&H, 2011). She quoted Luke 6:45 (Amplified):

For out of the abundance (overflow) of the heart his mouth speaks.
Our mouths, she said, are “only a barometer” that divulge whether we’re “immersed in humility or surrendered in obedience to the Lord.” What we say can also reveal if we’re “housing a malnourished spirit that stubbornly refuses to yield to the wisdom of God’s own Word.” A condensed version of her tests for a troubled mouth:

*Quick to offer opinions in any conversations?  Shows: haughtiness, need to impress or be at the center of attention.

*Constantly critical or demeaning? Shows: insecurity or uncertainty about your inherent value; angry, judgmental heart.
*Quarrel with spouse or divisive with others? Shows: lack of deep peace, need for Christ’s grace in strengthening relationships.
*Gossipy? Shows: failure to see troubled people as needing support, prayer, companionship.
*Negative (doubtful, skeptical) outlook? Shows: failure to trust God’s ability to handle wisely the details and timing of your life.

In all of these, the heart is a reservoir—a holding tank of the essence of who we are. The words that spill out reveal who we really are. If you’re a “PEW” person (Perfect in Every Way), you can stop reading right now.  If not, consider the trash can. It’s not just about cursing or variations of God’s name used like punctuation. It’s about controlling the tongue so it’s an “instrument of His peace.”  Or, as Proverbs 12:18 says:

The tongue of the wise brings healing.