"WELL"-DONE

Sometimes I have to push my chin back up to close my mouth over the dating-life excesses of our media-fueled, love-weary culture. I'm not talking only about the “bachelor” or “bachelorette” television episodes (which I never bothered to watch) which (assuming by their previews) were likely grounded heavily in sensuality. A few years before that, one television show featured a woman “choosing” to date one of three men hidden behind a barrier. All she had to go on were their voices and answers to some inane questions. When her choice was revealed, her reaction was...well, let the audience decide.

Maybe the problem was the media in charge. Not the Master.

One of the most faith-challenging romance stories of the Bible gives a more God-dependent perspective on man/woman match-ups. Flip to Genesis 24, about the unlikely “romance” of Abraham's old-age miracle offspring, Isaac. Abraham's wife Sarah had died. Isaac was an aging bachelor, with no wife in sight. Before Abraham died, he wanted to check that box for his son. Most important, he wanted Isaac's wife to come from his own family line—days and days of camel-travel away.

No internet. No smart phone. No easy way to check things out beforehand. And no, Isaac wouldn't go along. No way would Abraham risk losing his son to unknown wilderness travel and wife-shopping.

And so Abraham's old, devoted servant left. No jet airplanes in those days. No nice highways. Instead, camels plodding over wilderness and sand, both left feet forward and down. Both right feet forward and down. Over and over. About 3.5 miles an hour. A journey of some 300 miles to Mesopotamia where Abraham's kin originated. Even more tricky, Abraham wanted a woman from his clan of the many living back there.

You probably recall the rest of the story. After nine to ten days of weary travel, the entourage stopped at a well to water the animals. The servant put out one of those risky “fleece” prayers, asking for a miracle sign. (That's not typically how God works.) He asked for a lovely virgin to offer him and his camels water—no easy job for those humped H20 guzzlers. Out came a beauty queen who just happened to be single, from the right clan, and happy to help the weary travelers. Imagine her surprise when the servant honored her with jewelry and asked to meet her family!

Where am I going with this? To the servant's statement of amazement; “I being in the way, the LORD led me to the house of my master's brethren” (Genesis 24:27 KJV). In our times, “in the way” implies something negative, like you're not needed or impeding a project. But here in King James grammar-era, “in the way” meant that as he was progressing on his way in need of a miracle, God showed up. The rest of the story involved some conversations with the young lady's family and her eagerness to get on her way to meet her future husband. Sight unseen!

This story of God-at-work may be interpreted by some as showing “prayer-answers-on-demand.” But God doesn't always work that way. His ways are higher than our ways. Our call is to be “in [or "on"] the way,” trusting God to lead us to answers or solutions, or even to closed doors when something is not right. Or maybe “not yet”--coming as slow as camels, right feet/left feet/repeat over endless sands, the destination in His timing.

LOVE BLOOMED

 

Forty years ago this month, my husband Rich and I exchanged marriage vows in the little country church where his dad was part-time pastor. Our officiant was a pastor whose family was special to me in early adulthood, and who witnessed our love bloom, then fade when Rich didn't feel ready to support a wife. Almost a decade passed--hard years for me as my parents died while I was pursuing my career and education, ending up halfway across the nation. Then, long story short, our relationship rebloomed and I accepted his proposal. We were 34 and 36, both never married before. 

With my parents deceased and limited funds, I had no desire for a big wedding. Everything was pared down. Free use of the small church. A potluck lunch in lieu of wedding gifts. (As longtime singles, we'd already gathered enough housekeeping essentials.) A homemade wedding dress. A borrowed veil. And a bouquet from someone's garden: one white rose inside a puff of hydrangea. 

We all have our favorite flowers, and my affection for hydrangea goes back to my childhood when that plant grew outside my bedroom window. I've learned that hydrangea are famed for looking like a colony of butterflies. They're not “flowers,” in the sense of single blooms on a stem. They're considered an “inflorescence,” a group of flowers on a stem. The name comes from Greek and means “water vessel.” The Japanese call them “Ajisai,” meaning “water drinker.” And yes, they require a lot of water.

I've also learned that flowers are symbolic of emotions and hydrangeas are “gratitude” or “heartfelt emotions.” That fit my wedding day! White hydrangea symbolize the purity of innocent “first love.” Those would have been okay, too, but I favor the purplish/blue ones. Giving someone pink hydrangeas conveys appreciation for the recipient. Blue is linked to refusing a romantic offer, requesting forgiveness, and expressing regret. Oh my, if I'd known that, maybe I would have had second thoughts of carrying them for my wedding!

And here's another negative: all hydrangea contain cyanide and are toxic to people.

Thankfully, weddings aren't all about the flowers you carry! For us, getting back together was a statement about the grace of God. We chose as our wedding verse (and had someone with calligraphy skills prepare it to hang in our home) Psalm 34:3: “Magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt His name together.”

I spent many years as a newspaper reporter, specializing in women's news and features. That included doing the “write-ups” of hundreds of weddings. Some were quite extravagant and in those “olden days” on a small-town daily, every detail possible was included, even descriptions of the bride's gown and bouquet. But such things are for a day. This broken world will someday end, but God is eternal. There will come a relationship and location that defies imagination, but it perfect and pleasing in every way. The transition is even symbolized as a wedding. In his vision of heaven, the aged apostle John wrote: “I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband" (Revelation 21:2).

Weddings in our time have become big business, with many couples and their families spending thousands on attire, flowers, bands, catering, and more. Others have become flippant, with elopements at tiny chapels with Elvis impersonators officiating. For us, not being flashy folks, ours was just right. We had the presence of people we cared about. And, like the symbolism of the flowers I carried, we had “gratitude” and “heartfelt emotions.”