LOVE BLOOMED

 

Forty years ago this month, my husband Rich and I exchanged marriage vows in the little country church where his dad was part-time pastor. Our officiant was a pastor whose family was special to me in early adulthood, and who witnessed our love bloom, then fade when Rich didn't feel ready to support a wife. Almost a decade passed--hard years for me as my parents died while I was pursuing my career and education, ending up halfway across the nation. Then, long story short, our relationship rebloomed and I accepted his proposal. We were 34 and 36, both never married before. 

With my parents deceased and limited funds, I had no desire for a big wedding. Everything was pared down. Free use of the small church. A potluck lunch in lieu of wedding gifts. (As longtime singles, we'd already gathered enough housekeeping essentials.) A homemade wedding dress. A borrowed veil. And a bouquet from someone's garden: one white rose inside a puff of hydrangea. 

We all have our favorite flowers, and my affection for hydrangea goes back to my childhood when that plant grew outside my bedroom window. I've learned that hydrangea are famed for looking like a colony of butterflies. They're not “flowers,” in the sense of single blooms on a stem. They're considered an “inflorescence,” a group of flowers on a stem. The name comes from Greek and means “water vessel.” The Japanese call them “Ajisai,” meaning “water drinker.” And yes, they require a lot of water.

I've also learned that flowers are symbolic of emotions and hydrangeas are “gratitude” or “heartfelt emotions.” That fit my wedding day! White hydrangea symbolize the purity of innocent “first love.” Those would have been okay, too, but I favor the purplish/blue ones. Giving someone pink hydrangeas conveys appreciation for the recipient. Blue is linked to refusing a romantic offer, requesting forgiveness, and expressing regret. Oh my, if I'd known that, maybe I would have had second thoughts of carrying them for my wedding!

And here's another negative: all hydrangea contain cyanide and are toxic to people.

Thankfully, weddings aren't all about the flowers you carry! For us, getting back together was a statement about the grace of God. We chose as our wedding verse (and had someone with calligraphy skills prepare it to hang in our home) Psalm 34:3: “Magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt His name together.”

I spent many years as a newspaper reporter, specializing in women's news and features. That included doing the “write-ups” of hundreds of weddings. Some were quite extravagant and in those “olden days” on a small-town daily, every detail possible was included, even descriptions of the bride's gown and bouquet. But such things are for a day. This broken world will someday end, but God is eternal. There will come a relationship and location that defies imagination, but it perfect and pleasing in every way. The transition is even symbolized as a wedding. In his vision of heaven, the aged apostle John wrote: “I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband" (Revelation 21:2).

Weddings in our time have become big business, with many couples and their families spending thousands on attire, flowers, bands, catering, and more. Others have become flippant, with elopements at tiny chapels with Elvis impersonators officiating. For us, not being flashy folks, ours was just right. We had the presence of people we cared about. And, like the symbolism of the flowers I carried, we had “gratitude” and “heartfelt emotions.”