ON THE PLUS SIDE

What was that old saying, that a smile is just a frown turned around the right way? I agree, we've had plenty to frown about over the past year with the fears and horrors of the Covid-19 pandemic. As a “senior” with asthma, I have a target painted on my back (or is it the lungs?) for this scourge. At times, I get tired of all the confinement and precautions. But it's what we're called to do. Yet in the midst of all these negatives, there's another calling which might be called the “spiritual vaccination” for life's negatives. It's called “gratitude.”

I keep a file folder of “good stuff” I come across in my reading, thinking it might someday work into an article or blog. When cleaning off the desk lately (isn't everybody doing some sort of cleaning while confined?) I came across some wisdom about gratitude and having a positive attitude.

Gratitude begets gratitude, just as love begets love. So wrote the Dutch parish priest Henri J.M. Nouwen (1932-1996) in Life of the Beloved (Crossroads, 1992). He talked about working with institutionalized physically and mentally challenged people who had unfulfilled desires (like a life partner) and constant frustrations of needing assistance. Still, he said, they chose gratitude over bitterness. Little things meant a lot to them, like an invitation to dinner or being in community with people who offered friendship. In choosing gratitude over bitterness, they also inspired their caregivers. Nouwen added, “When we keep claiming the light we will find ourselves becoming more and more radiant. What fascinates me so much is that every time we decide to be grateful it will be easier to see new things to be grateful for. Gratitude begets gratitude, just as love begets love” (p. 62).

Focus on the good things in your life. That “prescription” came from Lisa Petsche, a clinical social worker, in an E-zine article. It's easy to be critical, she noted, when the world around us is pessimistic and the media focuses on disaster, failure, and discord. Proving true the saying that “misery loves company,” people join in, nurturing a negative outlook. The end result is stress that harms our physical and emotional well-being.

Some of her suggestions for nurturing a healing positive attitude:

*Limit media exposure.

*Use positive self-talk: “I can.” “I will.” “I choose.”

*Praise and encourage others.

*Humor yourself—with the newspaper comics, a hilarious sitcom, a fun book.

*Accept that some things you cannot change, but you can choose how to respond.

*Keep connected to caring people. Limit time with uncaring people and be forgiving.

*Have a “dump” place—a caring, trustworthy person or a private journal. (She didn't say so, but God's quite adept at handling our “dump times.”)

*Don't dwell on past mistakes or hurtful events.

*Do kind things for others.

*Put “quiet” into each day to nurture your spiritual life.

*Focus on positives: good relationships, the beauty of nature or art. Count blessings.(1)

If Henri Nouwen had studied her list, I'm sure he'd add this with the spiritual dimension, quoting the apostle Paul who wrote from a putrid prison: “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again, Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near” (Philippians 4:4-5).

1. http://www.simplejoy.org/positive_attitude.htm (accessed Sept. 23, 2005, no longer online)