THAT HAPPY PLACE

 A huge green plastic turtle—so old its eyes have faded away—has occupied the backyard for decades. In the 1980s, it delighted a little boy and later a little girl, who found sand to be fun and creative. (Because its lid was faithfully replaced at night, I never worried about animal waste finding its way to the sand!) Now that my grandchildren have passed the age of sand-play at that old turtle-box, it's time to let it go to a new home. But not without first reflecting on just what is a “happy place.”

Of course, I think about how the Bible defines “happy.” Psalm 144:15 says, “Happy are the people whose God is the Lord.” Similar truths are expressed in others: 20 Bible Verses about Happiness - Uplifting Scripture Quotes . But in reflecting on the word “happy” in its spiritual sense, I'm often taken to a famed quote by Frederick Buechner (1916-2022):

The place where God calls you is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet. (1)

Ironically, Buechner's father died of suicide when he was only ten years old. But he emerged from that childhood trauma to become a well-known Presbyterian minister and author of 39 books. One writer characterized Buechner as showing “faith despite doubt.” Among his famed quotes:

*”If it seems a childish thing to do, do it in remembrance that you are a child.” (So yes, help a child build a sand castle! And remember the importance of childlike faith and trust in God.)

*”Pay mind to your own life, your own health, and wholeness. A bleeding heart is of no help to anyone if it bleeds to death.”

*”Resurrection means that the worst thing is never the last thing.” (Have you seen that on a gravestone? I think it fits.)

*”Compassion is sometimes the fatal capacity for feeling what it is like to live inside somebody else's skin.” 

This reminded me of another quote, by Henri J.M. Nouwen, (1932-1996), and how life's trials can be redeemed if they turn us into “wounded healers”:

Nobody escapes being wounded. We are all wounded people, whether physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually. The main question is not 'How can we hide our wounds?' so we don't have to be embarrassed but 'How can we put our woundedness in the service of others?' When our wounds cease to be a source of shame and become a source of healing, we have become wounded healers.” (2)

Have you ever considered what sand used to be? Rocks! But when rocks are broken and eroded, they take on new purposes. They can even become sand for a child's play-place of imagination. Where tiny cars and trucks find new highways. Mountains and valleys emerge for a new world. And when there's water around, an imagined little city or park.

And maybe there's another message here. When the Hand of God is moving around the sands of our lives, will we allow Him to create a masterpiece for His glory?

(1) Quote by Frederick Buechner: “The place God calls you to is the place where y...”

(2) Quote by Henri Nouwen: “Nobody escapes being wounded. We are all wounde...”

ON THE PLUS SIDE

What was that old saying, that a smile is just a frown turned around the right way? I agree, we've had plenty to frown about over the past year with the fears and horrors of the Covid-19 pandemic. As a “senior” with asthma, I have a target painted on my back (or is it the lungs?) for this scourge. At times, I get tired of all the confinement and precautions. But it's what we're called to do. Yet in the midst of all these negatives, there's another calling which might be called the “spiritual vaccination” for life's negatives. It's called “gratitude.”

I keep a file folder of “good stuff” I come across in my reading, thinking it might someday work into an article or blog. When cleaning off the desk lately (isn't everybody doing some sort of cleaning while confined?) I came across some wisdom about gratitude and having a positive attitude.

Gratitude begets gratitude, just as love begets love. So wrote the Dutch parish priest Henri J.M. Nouwen (1932-1996) in Life of the Beloved (Crossroads, 1992). He talked about working with institutionalized physically and mentally challenged people who had unfulfilled desires (like a life partner) and constant frustrations of needing assistance. Still, he said, they chose gratitude over bitterness. Little things meant a lot to them, like an invitation to dinner or being in community with people who offered friendship. In choosing gratitude over bitterness, they also inspired their caregivers. Nouwen added, “When we keep claiming the light we will find ourselves becoming more and more radiant. What fascinates me so much is that every time we decide to be grateful it will be easier to see new things to be grateful for. Gratitude begets gratitude, just as love begets love” (p. 62).

Focus on the good things in your life. That “prescription” came from Lisa Petsche, a clinical social worker, in an E-zine article. It's easy to be critical, she noted, when the world around us is pessimistic and the media focuses on disaster, failure, and discord. Proving true the saying that “misery loves company,” people join in, nurturing a negative outlook. The end result is stress that harms our physical and emotional well-being.

Some of her suggestions for nurturing a healing positive attitude:

*Limit media exposure.

*Use positive self-talk: “I can.” “I will.” “I choose.”

*Praise and encourage others.

*Humor yourself—with the newspaper comics, a hilarious sitcom, a fun book.

*Accept that some things you cannot change, but you can choose how to respond.

*Keep connected to caring people. Limit time with uncaring people and be forgiving.

*Have a “dump” place—a caring, trustworthy person or a private journal. (She didn't say so, but God's quite adept at handling our “dump times.”)

*Don't dwell on past mistakes or hurtful events.

*Do kind things for others.

*Put “quiet” into each day to nurture your spiritual life.

*Focus on positives: good relationships, the beauty of nature or art. Count blessings.(1)

If Henri Nouwen had studied her list, I'm sure he'd add this with the spiritual dimension, quoting the apostle Paul who wrote from a putrid prison: “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again, Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near” (Philippians 4:4-5).

1. http://www.simplejoy.org/positive_attitude.htm (accessed Sept. 23, 2005, no longer online)

Broken up is hard to be....

Icy driveway--see tire tracks at left

Snow on top of sleet, on top of more snow and sleet, left us with an ice skating rink for a driveway a few weeks ago. The immediate solution was the tedious one: slamming a shovel into the ice to break it up. As I was taking my aggressions out on the slab of ice, of all things, some old pop song lyrics came to mind: “Breaking up is hard to do.” They came from Neil Sedaka’s 1962 #1 hit (for one week) titled, “Don’t Take Your Love Away From Me.” I was a high school freshman that year, more interested in classical music than the current pop tune, but somehow  random exposures to that era’s pop culture found a niche in my brain. Technology that was a pipe dream fifty years ago allowed me to “google” it and hear the whole song (with a grainy black-and-white video) on Youtube.  Oh my, how times have changed. The singer was nicely groomed in pants and a sweater. Behind him, modestly “grooving” to the music, were young men in suits and girls wearing dresses or skirts and blouses! 

THE RING WAS THE THING...
Those were the days, when it was big to “go steady,” which a girl announced to her world by wearing a guy’s class ring on a neck chain. Eventually, there was the inevitable “breaking up” and returning of the ring. Somehow, as an academia nut with no boyfriends, I missed all that adolescent trauma. But as I emerged into adulthood and found my spiritual moorings in truly embracing Jesus as my Savior, I discovered a deeper, more transforming “breaking up.”  It’s what God does in our lives to take us away from shallow and worthless things and into a deep and abiding love relationship with Him.

If you haven’t guessed, I am a reader, with three to five books going at a time. Recently I read Henri  J.M. Nouwen’s Life of the Beloved, commended as “must read” by another book “in process” on my pile, one by George Verwer, founder of the world-wide mission outreach “Operation Mobilization.” Nouwen found himself in dialog with a discouraged secular Jew who questioned the value of any religion.  Out of that came Nouwen’s insight that brokenness can be a gateway to joy when we realize it carries the opportunity to purify and deepen God’s blessing on us. The apostle James said the same thing: to consider testings of our faith as “pure joy” because these are part of the maturing of our faith (James 1:2-4).  In other words, to rejoice in brokenness because it prepares the way for a deeper faith.

To return to that pop song of half a century ago, but with a spiritual angle, getting “broken up” is hard to go through. But it’s how God woos us from the “crush” or love of the world’s slippery values to bring us for our true love and Savior, Jesus.